Get on that girl!

You know who you are. The ETERNAL QUESTION needs an answer!

And this one ain't 42.

Deep Mysteries of the Classics House

The Deepest Mystery of the Classics House has been solved.

The Deep Mystery shall come to light soon. It shall come to pass this Thursday. The Oracle sees all!

I'm with stupid

Brothers and sisters in dormitory camaraderie, we are gathered here today to whitness a new birth. Today, we shall celebrate the naming of Sister Deanna. No more shall she be known as such--that is her slave name. No more shall it hold her down. And no more shall the non-Californians, non-weathy, and non-stoned hold her back! From this day forth, she shall be known as:

"With Tom".

Please help us celebrate this momentous occasion. Let's pass a bowl around.

The House is onto you.

You know who you are . . .

Bathroom Fun Times!

The boys on the 3rd Floor on 176 must have had a party at some point, because the aftermath of said party caused their toilet to overflow. The damaged leaked all the way down to the first floor where it expunged itself through the chandelier.

Luckily, the CCC's very own and amazing B&G guy was on it! Not only did he clean up the problem, he also proceeded to deep clean the carpet (which we are very grateful for!).

People affected by the catastrophe: the 3rd floor, Eleni, Brunella and Meg. Please keep these victims in your thoughts and prayers.

Tom's Discovery

Truly failed by the public school system and his previous girls, our very own Taco Bell star recently discovered that women do not have Adam's apples.

If you see Tom on the street, feel free to continue his anatomy education.

WOTS

. . . is that if Darren is not on call, anything goes!

Unfortunately, Darren is on call tonight, so watch your shenanigans!

The Cockroach Strikes Again!

Residents were surprised when the RA left them in his room without supervision. His punishment? A cockroach in his bed!

After apparently throwing the thing away from him in disgust, he hid it in front of room 112, where a recently awoken Brunella discovered the beast and froze in fear.

The message is clear: no one is safe from La Cucaracha del fuego!

Are they or aren't they?

Cast your votes here!

A CCC Lawsuit

As the first truly warm evening hit Boston, many of the 176 residents (and 2 from 178) did some stoop sitting, which ultimately lead to heckling people. When one resident noticed 2 people making out, 5 of said sitters heckled "ooooooo" to the couple.

. . . who turned out to be lesbians. Rumors of a lawsuit abound, but the CCC would like to remind people that we heckle equally, regardless of race, major, sex, dog, ice cream, fashion, or sexuality. We are Equal Opportunity Hecklers.

Overheard in Room 212

Girl: I'd take a punch for a penis peek.

Peeps be getting desperate.

Eric, Tell Your Friends Where You Live!

12:46 am

Boy: Is Eric over here?
CCC Reader: Eric lives on the other side idiot!
Boy: Sorry, I don't live here! . . . How do I get to the other side?

Eric, draw your friends a freaking map!

A CCC Shout-out

The Classics House Chronicles would like to welcome Amy Cordner to the wonderful drama of 176-178 Bay State Rd.

Feel free to leave us your comments!

It's like AA, except different . . .

Haze [heyz] – verb (used with object), hazed, haz-ing

1. to subject (freshmen, newcomers, etc.) to abusive or humiliating tricks and ridicule

There has been some recent concern over possible hazing issues that occurred throughout the year. I would like to be the first person to step up and realize that I, perhaps like you, need help. I, Deanna of room 112, haze people. The acts that I have done are violent and cruel and completely fit within the definition of hazing seen above.

After knowing Meg for 2 years, I hazed her last week by covering her door with Pita Pit posters.
After knowing Tom for 2.5 years, I hazed him by taping his toothpaste to the wall.
After knowing Matt Piscitelli for 3 years, I repeatedly hazed him in many different ways.

I need help. That's why, I've instituted the Classics House Hazers Anonymous--the HHHA. If you, too, have problems with hazing, please let me know. Meetings will begin this Wednesday at 8 pm in the basement. Miss Tyra will help us.

(This is not what I do: prank – n. A mischievous trick or practical joke)

Sad

I miss Bashby!

The Ashbys are coming!

Prepare yourselves.

Where's My Fairy Godmother??

Overheard in the Classics House:

"I wish Dashby would stare at MY boobs!"

May your wish come true.

Get Rich Quick

As Deanna searches for a job after college, many friends have been there to support her. The latest plan? Have her sell her chest for advertising space.

Effective and yet so simple! Brilliant!

Archaeology Students Take a Stand

After seeing the table flyers at Towers, one in particular struck 3 of the CH archaeology residents: Stop the Illegal Arms Trade. This small reminder from Jamnesty inspired them to take a different stand . . .

After some troubles, they finally had their message complete: Stop the Illegal Antiquities Trade!

Elia would be so proud!

Naivite (aka Stupidity)

Tom completed his life's dream when he finally got to see down a certain resident's shirt. Cause she is a fool.

In related news, Tom had sweet dreams last night.

Go Directly To Jail

Some Classics House residents have been accused of sexually harassing Dashby. But it's only harassment when it's unwanted, right?

Something to ponder on.

From the Diary of Brunella

Dear Diary,

Today started okay. I was doing my laundry and things were good. I love when my dirty stuff gets clean! And know what else I love? Chemistry. Chemistry is the greatest. Especially this equation. I love it. It's the epitome of my life:


But at any rate. I was taking my time and carefully putting my sheets on my bed, when all of a sudden out of nowhere, Tom comes flying in the room and jumps on my bed! Under my sheets! IN HIS OUTSIDE CLOTHES!! I know everyone thinks Meg is the one who freaks out about that stuff, but bitch please. Do they not know who my mother is?

It is taking all my strength to not rip them off and clean them right now. But I'll wait till tomorrow. If Meg can do it, I can too. I must channel Miss Tyra's strength. What would she do? She would have us sit in a circle with Tom in the middle and have us all say our problems with Tom. Yes, I like that idea. Ahh, Miss Tyra saves the day again!

Buenos noches diary!

xoxo
Brunella

Bashby Is Coming!

That girl better watch out.

Darren’s “Fresident” Runs Him Down with a Blue Cart

Tonight, Darren Ashby was hit with a blue cart. Witnesses say that the cart was pushed at an intention and accelerating speed directly into Darren outside of the Common Grounds House (which is where one may actually find a Waldo). Neither the cart nor the RA sustained any injuries.

It's not November...

A turkey was spotted outside the GSU by two Classics House residents this morning.

Click HERE for happiness.

Cockroach Infestation

The April Fool's Day spirit affected members of the Classics House today. Although other pranks were pulled during the evening, the best prank (in this writer's opinion) was to come later at approximately 11:45 pm. Previously that evening, 3 CCC readers rushed into Meg's room whilst she was downstairs and hid a plastic cockroach in her bed (an added plus: Meg does not enjoy when people touch her sheets).

While Meg tantalized 2 excited residents by acting ready for bed, but never getting in, the 2 ladies checked in with her roommate for updates. Finally, as they were standing outside Meg's door waiting, they heard what they had been waiting for: that Meg scream of horror and disgust! Excellent!

Just wait till she sees her underwear drawer . . .

Wet Chicken

A poor, sad Mike Toohey returned to the Classics House past his bedtime and completely soaked. It appears our fine resident and future psychologist at Hofstra did not read the weather forecast. His look prompted one resident to call him a "wet chicken". He seemed favorable to this comparison.

Mike, please click here for an important website.

News from the Jungle

Wasserman returns! Well, sort of . . . Meg received a postcard address to the House and it was with both shock and excitement that she exclaimed: "I got a postcard from Mike! Why did it come to me?" The card can be found in front of Brunella and Deanna's door, or, you can view the transcribed text here:

Hola House,
Hope you are all doing well! I miss you guys and our fun and exciting times in the house. Congrats to all you seniors! Ecuador is amazing! I head to the rainforest on Monday and I'm really excited for it! I'll be able to play with monkeys and birds and jaguars and snakes and big trees! Cool stuff! Okay, take care all!
Love,
Mike (you know, that kid who used to live with you)

Oh, Mike. We miss you too!