Late Tuesday night an unfortunate resident of the Classics House was traumatically bludgeoned with a so called "ice phallus," thrown from the 176 third floor landing. Rumors that it was a gift from one male lover to another have yet to be confirmed. The injured party accepted an apology later that night, but it should be noted that this brand of welcome is not normal in America.
Wednesday dinner was decidedly partisan, with the two addresses sitting over three tables away from each other in the dining hall and eating over twenty minutes apart. In this time of great joy at the removal of fire hazards from the Classics House, it is imperative that not we split into factions, but remain united in our eating habits.
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